They Said. They Actually Said.

“Apply now. We have a vacant senior position. We would love for you to work with us”, they said.

So, I applied for Job A. I still think, it was my best performance ever in an interview. Fake British accent. Diplomatic statements. I really thought I had it. Months passed, I did not hear a thing about my application. I tried to forget it and convinced myself it’s the way government offices handle job applications. They leave you waiting in agony. They do not care notifying you that they did not select you.

Then, after a year, maybe… they talked to me again and informed me that there is a vacant position, a step lower than the previous. So I did trap myself in their sweet words again. I applied for Job B. But I did not think highly of my performance in the exam and interview. Guess what?! I got hired!

Months into my new position.. everything’s calm. Less stressful than my previous work.

I did not ask why I was not selected the first time I applied. I did not care. Who would even care? I have a job that pays the bills. Maybe I did not want to feel the same disappointment when I applied for Job Zero, had the best exam score, had the best result in psych evaluation, but the big boss still chose the one who was already working in the unit. The selected one left the job after barely three (3) months. The same thing happened with the one who was selected for Job A.

And you would never believe why I was not chosen for Job A. Simply because they do not want an Adam handling a senior position. They thought an Eve could do the job better. Yes, it’s all about Eve.

They thought Eve is better for the position because they had experiences working with Adams before and they were not satisfied. And that’s f***** stereotyping. Adam de la Cruz is no Adan Castillo. And Eve Flores is no Eva Flores. Too much talk about gender equality or gender-responsiveness or gender-sensitivity.

In a funny turn of events, I now handle the Gender and Development program of the office.

Respect

Some people have the tendency to DEMAND respect either from their subordinates or from other people. They view respect as something that is forced upon someone. They have this line of thinking that if they want respect, then they can get it through force. Sigh! They are not earning respect, they are propagating fear and hate.

Cliché as it is, respect is earned. If you have positive attitude towards work, good vibes around your own ideals and righteousness towards other people, then you can earn respect. You cannot earn respect by asking your followers or friends to give it to you. You cannot earn respect by telling people that you are the boss. You cannot earn respect by constantly reminding everyone about your status in life.

You can earn respect just by acting the way you are supposed to act. If you are the head of the team, be firm with your decisions (assuming that these have been thought well and not just products of whims and personal tantrums). Stick with rules that have been established long before, unless there are serious ramifications. Play fair and do not go out spreading rumours and confidential information about competitors or fellow workers. Do not grab merits and commendations intended for others, especially for people under you. Help your subordinates to grow in terms of their career, education and personal maturity. Do not fabricate stories to get the sympathy of your subordinates or fellow workers.

Read and inform yourself of current events. There is no better way going into a meeting than being armed with up-to-date information on policies and events of national and international concerns. It is not acceptable to say that “nanotechnology” is about ceramics. Do not rate yourself as knowledgeable on a subject matter, instead, continue learning or educating yourself. Do not tag yourself as a social scientist if you even do not know how to define social science.

Dress appropriately.. according to the occasion and according to your position.

Attend the Flag Ceremony every Monday morning. If there is a flag retreat ceremony on Fridays, then make it a habit to attend the event. You cannot ask your subordinates or fellow workers to attend an activity if you are even absent.

One test to check if your subordinates respect you as their boss.. tell them that there is a meeting. Once inside the room, observe them if they talk to each other even if you are already seated in front. Or if they indulge in chatting in the middle of your discussion. If you observe these, then you are in need of extreme personality development for interpersonal relationship. But earning respect does not happen in just a matter of click or overnight or after a week.